Ex-Witness discovers musical talents
(Russell Brewer shown top center)
Dear Mr. Watters,
Please add me to your list. Thanks!!
I am 31 years old. I live in Rohnert Park, CA - about 60 miles north of San
Francisco. I have a 3-year old daughter and am engaged to her mother. I
was raised a Witness in
Tennessee from birth. All I knew growing up was the Witness way. My father
became an elder when I was 6 years old. Along with the other elders in our small
congregation, over the years, he helped build a very large
congregation that eventually split into two individual groups - due to the sheer
number of people! The congregations are located in Knoxville TN, and both groups
meet in the same hall at different times of the week. When our congregation
began, they had this old building that was very run down. As the congregation
grew, the brothers had the $$$ to build an even nicer Kingdom Hall. I remember
being 16 years old, working on the "Quick Build" !!
I was disfellowshipped when I was 18 because of immorality. The reason I lost
my faith and became so disillusioned with the Witnesses was because of all
the judgmental people and the harsh treatment of certain individuals. I was very
active when I was a youth and at one point was being considered for an
appointment as a ministerial servant. I auxiliary pioneered for years and my
best friend later went to serve at Bethel. He died in 1992 due to an illness
that affected his blood count. A blood transfusion probably would have saved his
life!! This makes me very sad that so many people have sacrificed their lives on
the alter of the "Society"!!
I really believed and loved the
Witnesses, but something just didn't seem right when I got older. I lost faith
in everything and figured that if I was going to die for my terrible sins, then
I was going to party as much as I could!!! This lead me into very dangerous
situations, but I feel I was protected by Jesus because of my ignorance and
misfortune. Now, I understand that the proclamations and prophecies of the
Watchtower Bible
and Tract Society are incorrect. I feel that I can love myself again and stop
the self hatred and abuse. Having a daughter and being close to my heartfelt
friends has really helped. I am a much more whole person, nowadays, but it has
taken me years and years to come to terms with what happened to me. My folks are
still Witnesses and my father resides as a very respected elder. I was babtized
when I was 14!! I can't believe that they held me responsible for a decision I
made as a minor!!! It seems ridiculous!!
Additionally, my own ministry is the
ministry of music!! I have been playing the guitar for over 14 years now. I
recently acquired a website for our band on MP3.com!! We are like yourself in
many ways. I was
"encouraged" not to go to college as a youth. Therefore, my skills in
this world are very limited. The only thing I really know how to do well is play
music! My music has helped me get through some very rough times, as I'm sure you
are very familiar with. The name of our project is "Inner Rhythm". Our
music is mostly instrumental music, focusing on positive issues. We are not an
"anti-Witness" band or something dumb like that! I realize that life
presents us all with challenges and my experience being brought up as a Witness
was difficult and unfortunate, but I do not blame them or hate them. I feel the
creation of music is a gift from our Heavenly Father and I am very thankful for
his blessing. All the members in our project hold various views on the nature of
consciousness. I feel that we all respect one another's view points and we
create music in an atmosphere of mutual regard.
I invite you to please give ear to our song. The song is called "Back To
The Mystery". You can listen to it by clicking on the link below. It would
make my heart glad to know that people could know my story and perhaps could
gain some encouragement from the sounds of of the Lords gift to me.
I would like to thank you for all you
have done on the Net! I remember reading your story a couple of years ago
and I felt a great heaviness lift from my soul!! Thank you so much. Your work is
vital to helping people who have been cast aside by the organization. May the
Lord's spirit guide you further. May His eternal peace dwell with you always!!
Your Brother,
Russell Brewer
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