What can it be like for many children of Jehovah's Witnesses who are forced to live in two words?

The following stories have all been voluntarily contributed to the Freeminds website over the years. Each is shown as written with no editorial input other than spelling corrections.

Hi Randy,

I was totally back-stabbed by people who were supposed to be my friends. We were about 16-17 at the time. My one friend was out having lots of sex with lots of people - I had no idea. We were always deemed the "bad girls" (nicknamed "Nitro" and "Glycerin" by the elders, as when these two items are combined there's always negative results) and considered even "whores" by a few clique-ish "sisters".  I had never had sex, but since my friend was, I was guilty by association.  We had a terrible falling out, and months later I confessed to my mom that this friend of mine had had sex. Everyone knows that's a sin punishable by gossip, terrorism by the elders, and criticism. My friend didn't even get the half of it. I got most of it, being yelled at by the elders as I "didn't tell them" she was having sex. When I got up enough courage I told them, and nothing happend to her anyway. She was publicly reproved - but lied about all the sex she had. Looking back, I could give ! a crap less about what she did, and it was none of my business in the first place. Back then it was your duty as an upright Christian friend to "tell" and make things better. Things only got worse from then on.

After being "banned" from the aforementioned friend by her parents, (how ironic) I gained another "best friend". We had been friends before, but got really close after all this had happend.  "Laura" ended up having some mental problems. (I think she's a sociopath, and a pathological liar) Laura also developed an unhealthy relationship with a guy she worked with. I think he's a bit neurotic, and psychotic himself. He convinced her to steal my ATM card, and find out my pin number. My pin number was "2121" and it was quite a mystery how my card became suddenly lost after I used it the last time. She was with me at the ATM and could have easily seen me punch in my code.

I knew my card was missing, but too naive to know that Laura had taken it. I thought it was lost in my car somewhere. I was wrong. I ended up bouncing about $200 in checks because I didn't know that all these ATM withdrawals had been made. She took out the max amount ($60) every day for a month. Finally I got my bank statement that showed all these transactions I was not responsible for. I knew at that moment she was the one who did it.

Shortly after the second incident with my so-called friends, I moved out of my parents house (a few months after I had graduated high-school) and got a full-time job. I stopped going to meetings, and associating with fellow JW's. The elders "stalked" me, until finally they gave up after not being able to reach me. They would drive by my house, knock on my door and call me. I worked nights at the time, and was sleeping when they decided to stop by. They pounded on my door, waking me from a dead sleep. I was scared out of my wits! I had no idea who was persistently trying to wake me up. They must have knocked for 10-15 minutes. I finally got out of bed, and crawled to the door, peeking out the window and seeing two elders. I was livid, to say the least. I never did answer the door. Later on I found out that after they left my house, they went to my parents house to report that I had "avoided" them, even though all the lights were on and I had my stereo up loud. I laughed at ! this, as I lived in the basement of a house, and no lights were on, and no stereo was on.

Another instance of JW persecution is the time I asked my nephew who made him to be so adorable. (He's 3, and very cute) My aunt was sitting there, and looked at him saying, "Tell her it's because Jehovah made you that way!" She said it in a very stern voice, almost reprimanding me through him. How lame!?

I've never been happier but today I continue to live my life dealing with the 18 years of brain washing I was subjected to the greater majority of my life. I have a great job, and a great outlook for the future.  Someday, hopefully, my parents will understand that by being a Witness, they made the choice to become one.  I also hope they understand I am only guilty of doing what they did - make a choice.

Chantel

I just stumbled on to your website upon researching "Did Jesus die on a cross?" and found that I wasn't alone like I felt I was. OK My story:

I have never really gone back but a few times over the years, but everyone in my family besides me are Jehovah's Witnesses. Nieces, Nephews, Sisters, Brother, Aunt Uncle you name it. I always felt that the "Truth" was true, but never wanted to go or think about it, or practice so I did nothing. I worked, played in bands, drank, but always felt that I was bad and wrong because I was ignoring Jehovah. I just did what I could to not think about it, or anything else. I dated a lot, then found someone  and got married. She was not a JW but was accepted by my family oddly enough. She had a positive influence on me and they saw that. Well we had two kids, a year apart and I still did nothing about religion. My wife was raised a Presbyterian but did not practice. Well we knew we wanted to teach the kids about God and Jesus, but didn't know what to do as I was raised to think that if you were not a "Witness", you would not live forever. Since I was taught not to ever question the "Truth", I never went to another church. Until my wife said she wanted spirituality for us and the kids and asked me to go to the local Presbyterian church. There I found that these people were not heathens, but when they talked about the trinity and the cross I kept thinking these people are worshiping wrong and false. I felt soooo guilty for even being inside a church so while sitting there I prayed to Jehovah not to be mad at me for being there. The church offered a class called "Alpha" which is for all who want a basic knowledge of their teachings. You break into small groups once a week and discuss Jesus and whatever else you would like to ask about. Well being an outspoken person, I told the group that I was raised a JW and everything I was hearing (cross, Trinity etc.) was completely the opposite of what I was taught. It was even a sin for me to be in the church. Keep in mind that I haven't even gone to a meeting regularly for over 19 years. But I had a TON of questions. This is all in the past three weeks. They were very happy to have me there and were very kind, unlike what I have heard growing up.

I have observed many of the points that you have brought up on your website such as the JW religion seems made up of many social misfits who are in need of acceptance and belonging, and those who need "power" as would an Elder that normally wouldn't receive it in the "world".

Thank you for letting me rant, but I don't know what to do.

Ever since I was old enough to comprehend, I always knew things didn't add up with what the organization was teaching. On top of that actions displayed by members seemed very hypocritical as well as the experiences I had at home. My parents were witnesses well before 1975, Armageddon-end of the world scare. 1975 came and went, shortly thereafter my dad was appointed as elder in the Los Angeles Pico congregation. What is so damaging at an early age is that the JW parents restrain their children from having any type of social contacts apart from school. At school, I was often embarrassed to go because I was teased or just made to feel that I didn't fit in and that's what I went through in middle school the experience was very traumatizing. I remember when I would ask about sex issues or just personal issues on becoming a man, I was told to go get one of the books and look the information up for myself, and that will tell me what I'm supposed to expect or do. Now remember he didn't grow up as a JW in fact he didn't become one till he was in his 20's.

So there's no excuse why he couldn't sit down with me personally and talk to me about anything out of love and concern, sadly this side of him I never got. I wasn't personally sat down and personalized with in a way to understand what I was going through, I needed the attention of my father and the personalization from him to let me know what a young man goes through. I receive neither, rather sadly I grew up without as idea of what was natural and normal processes of expectations of what I will be going through in young manhood to becoming a man. I wasn't allowed to talk on the phone to none of my peers, those were the ones who really knew and could relate to what I was going through and coming from. The JW kids wasn't into each other like that a lot of the JW kids didn't even like to associate or play with other JW kids. Mainly JW kids friends were ones at school or ones that didn't have anything to do with that religion. Go figure. I wasn't allowed to talk with females on the phone, my calls were monitored and if the girl wasn't a JW i was told to get off the phone. In particular, I was talking to one female that interested me and I felt we had some things in common. My mother listened to our conversation and told me to get off the phone where the girl could hear her.

No it never turned out to be for any good, because my parents have displayed the same kind of garbage like everyone else within that org, basically they have shunned me and my family, they don't acknowledge the kids, they tell people stories as if we communicate and they are so close to the kids and love the kids so much that is far from the truth, they only put out interest when they feel they have no real idea of where we are actually living just to keep tags on us-(make sure I keep my  mouth shut on things I'm opening up about and talking about now they don't want no one to know what it was really like and how it still is now) That is what I and my wife has had to deal with and it hurts. Mainly our children are the ones mostly affected by this and that's so sad. How do we explain to our kids reasoning behind all of this of why their grandparents don't have anything to do with them. My wife and I don't stand for anything that my parents are about or try to uphold. How do you reasonably explain that to your child/children? Actually the child lives with the same auras and effects from growing up within that org as I did when I was a child, even though their parents claim no association and have nothing to do with that org. That's how this affects everybody. Our kids don't understand why or what were going through, they just know something hurts and effects our lives because of their father's background and that their involved in receiving the same treatment. My wife is made to feel the same way also.

That is a little summary of my story...

Hello. My name is Gabe. I was raised in the JW faith since I was born. I always thought I was evil or not normal because as my parents told me over and over" I never allowed the truth to set in my heart". My father was and still an elder. My mother is also currently a full time pioneer. I was never baptized thankfully. I stopped going to Kingdom Hall at the age of 15. I wanted out from a very young age, I would say at around 10. However, this was no easy task. The final straw for me came when I was offered a grant for college. I was 15. I was so very happy and proud of my hard work and I rushed home to tell my father. Even though he always wanted me to put the "service" first he always encouraged me to do well in school. I told him about the grant and much to my surprise he flat out told me that I would never go to college because this was the "ball field of Satan" and to forget that issue all together. I was very upset and tried to reason with him. My father would also "use the rod" as he called it (more like beat me when he felt I was going against the word of Jehovah).

We rarely see each other since the incident at age 15. Needless to say. I am a strong opposer to Jehovah's Witnesses and their activities. I have even gone as far as filing a restraining order against the nearby congregations. I would like to donate to your organization. I would also like some information on how to possibly present all the evidence that clearly shows the entire "SOCIETY" is false. I know the members mean well, but they are the real victims since the follow blindly. If faith is blind these guys need seeing eye dogs!!!! I feel it is my self-found duty to rescue as many of these people as I can. They deserve to know the real "truth."

Gabe

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written by Nisha , November 28, 2009

I feel luckier than most, because my elder
father left the witnesses when I was thirteen. My mother, forced to deal with two children who clearly would not become witnesses, slowly became less religious. I was born into the religion, baptized at eleven, and suddenly, at the age of twelve, strangely free. It was a birth and a death. I still sometimes mourn the loss of the many friends that I never saw again, whose faces and voices do not fade after so many years. I mourn the loss of a self that was uniquely suited to life within the jw world. I mourn the loss of my family, and the place that I once called home. Each day I have had to remind myself that the 'new' me is the same person that I was, with the same heart and soul, and each day I learn how toto release the shame that ive carried as a person in the world and the guilt I've suffered from being so sickened and ashamed of the people I loved the most. To all of those exjw kids who are struggling to accept and forgive: your future is the only one there is. Make it a good one

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written by Lilly , July 01, 2010

I hope that all the innocent victims who were raised as JW's by fanatical parents can come to understand that the Watchtower Society has a wildly unrealistic expectation of children and these children who are now adults should NOT feel guilty. They are VICTIMS and they should be proud they have found the emotional strength to cast off the chains of bondage to an evil group of power-hungry men. Those men who rule over the Watchtower religion sit in the insulated ivory Watchtower exercising their affinity for creating myriads of unrelenting rules that intrude into even the most private parts of life. They impose with impunity the rules that hold JW's hostage to ever-changing medical and political decisions that affect not only the quality of life but even whether one lives or dies (blood issue). They teach with unopposed authority to the children of the Watchtower but have an institutional indifference to their needs. They impose from a distance the merciless and brutal guidelines of shunning which rip families apart in order to punish those who don't obey their rules or who dare to question their authority. I hope their victims who were raised in the JW religion can celebrate their escape from this evil cult and rejoice in the freedom that comes from leaving the Watchtower and going forward to create a new life. I am deeply sorry for those who have lost family and friends due to shunning but freedom and peace of mind from the Watchtower's mental prison is priceless.

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