I hope that I can help other people by sharing my experience.

I was born into the Jehovah Witness cult in 1972.  My mother was active in the organization.  My father was disfellowshipped for smoking cigarettes.  I am the third child.  I have two older sisters. My younger brother was born in 1975, the year that JWs should be looking forward to Armageddon, according to the JW literature.

 

She told my unemployed father, but he didn't do anything to help me either.  Leah started molesting my little brother when he was still a baby.  My parents let Leah molest both of us.

My mother took all four of us kids to the five weekly meetings.  The pictures of Armageddon in the organization's literature scared me.  My mother told me that I would die a horrible death like the people in the pictures if I ever stopped going to the meetings or field service.

The sexual abuse stopped when my family moved.  The physical abuse from my parents continued.  When I was five years old my father hit me with a wooden ping pong paddle so hard that it broke in half.  My brother and I were frequently whipped with a belt.  I had a severe case of chicken pox when I was six years old; my mother threatened to whip me with the belt even though I had sores all over my body.

My brother and I were always dragged from our chairs at the meeting to the bathroom to be spanked by our mother for talking or being restless.  When I started kindergarten, my mother told me that I could not participate in school activities that included holidays, birthdays, the American flag, etc.  My kindergarten teacher had a surprise Christmas party with a Santa Claus that came into our classroom.  I didn't want to be killed at Armageddon for being at a Christmas party, so I ran and hid under the coats hanging from the coat rack.  I stayed there until it was time to go home.  I was not allowed to have "worldly" friends at school.   I didn't have any JW friends because my father was disfellowshipped.

Everyone who has been a JW knows that there are cliques in "God's Organization".  Everyone is labeled whether they know it or not.  Leah met her future husband, Mark, at a meeting.  My parents let Mark move into our house shortly after they met.  The elders in the congregation didn't like it, but they didn't have much leverage because my dad was already disfellowshipped.  My parents let Mark move into the bedroom that my brother and I shared.  My brother and I had to sleep on the couch in the living room until Mark and Leah had their Kingdom Hall wedding and moved to another town.

My parents sold our house to move us closer to them in the other town.  After we moved, I started wetting my bed and stuttering. My mother decided that I was not active enough in the organization even though I was forced to go the five weekly meetings and spend my weekends in field service selling magazines.  My mother signed me up for the Ministry School without my consent.  

 

 

My mother nagged my father to get reinstated back into the organization.  He quit smoking, started attending meetings, started studying, and was eventually reinstated.

I repressed being sexually abused until I was eighteen years old.  I told my parents that I remembered what Leah did to my brother and I. I contacted the District Attorneys office. I wanted to press criminal charges against Leah for molesting me before the statute of limitations expired for repressed memories.

 

My father told me that if I filed charges, he and my mother would not help me in any way. They would not even testify in my behalf.  I tried to press the charges without their help.  The attorney told me that it would impossible to prove my case because I didn't have any physical scars from the sexual abuse.

The attorney told me to drop it, so I did.

I saw a Psychologist and was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I told my parents about my condition.  I was still living at home at this time.  My father told me that if I wanted to continue going to my Psychologist, I would have to give him gas money for the ride.  My father kicked me out of the house shortly after this because I would not give him money to gamble with.

I was only earning minimum wage at my part-time job.  I told an elder in my mother's congregation that Leah molested my brother and I, and she was still a baptized publisher in good standing.  He didn't do anything about it.

 

Leah lived in another state.  Leah is still in good standing in "God's Organization".  I don't speak to Leah or her husband now.  She denied molesting me at first, but she finally admitted it.  My mother, sisters, and brother are still active JWs.  My father is inactive; he has a gambling problem.  I walked away from the organization when I was nineteen. 

 

My family treats me like a disassociated person, even though I was never baptized.  I do not blame God for what happened to me in the cult.  I am happier now than I ever was.  I am putting myself through night school and working full time.

I understand how mind control works and I warn people about destructive cults whenever I have the opportunity.

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