Articles 
| "The Untouchables" - an essay on the effects of shunning |
| Written by Awakened at Gilead |
| Saturday, 07 February 2009 20:05 |
The following essay is an early chapter in a book I am writing about my experience leaving Jehovah's Witnesses... "THE UNTOUCHABLES" For thousands of years the people of India were separated into five Castes. The lowest of these castes were despised by the higher castes, and were forced to do the undesirable labor of society. The people belonging to this lowest caste were known as “Untouchables”. In Indian society, the “untouchables” were viewed as a contaminating influence, and thus members of the higher castes would not associate with them. The mere touch, even of the shadow, of one of the untouchables was considered polluting. The untouchables had to be avoided at all costs. 1
Modern society, of course frowns on such abuses. Mahatma Gandhi, in the 1980's, drew attention to the inhumane treatment of the untouchables, calling them “Children of God”. 2 Although India has officially banned the treatment of persons as untouchables since 1950, human rights abuses against these people continue to occur causing international consternation. 3
Similar abuses such as Apartheid in South Africa generate international concern, as one group of humans treats others as if they were sub-humans. However, this is a practice that is not limited to a nation's borders. A similar state also exists today in a number of international religious groups. In the case of some religions, when a member decides to officially leave the faith, the ex-member is subjected to ex-communication and is totally cut off socially from all current members of the faith. This social cutting off includes close friends and family who view the newly exited member as if he were dead, or at least untouchable. Mormons, Scientologists, and Jehovah's Witnesses, among others, order their members to follow such extreme shunning practices.
As a former Jehovah's Witness, I am writing this book to create consciousness of the plight of these shunned individuals, as well as to create awareness regarding the negative, sometimes dangerous, aspects of life as Jehovah's Witnesses. I was a baptized Jehovah's Witness for over 23 years, and attended the Watchtower Bible School of Gilead for missionaries. I have served as a full-time minister of Jehovah's Witnesses for 16 years, 7 of those years in Latin America either as a Special Pioneer or a missionary. I also served as a “congregation elder” for 7 years. Having invested so much of my life in the Jehovah's Witness religion, I did not take the decision to leave the religion lightly, including fully understanding the social consequences of my decision.
Each year, about 40,000 people are disfellowshipped (kicked out and cut off) from the Jehovah's Witness religion. Additional JWs decide to leave of their own volition and, if they make this know they are considered to have disassociated from the religion, and are treated as if they were disfellowshipped. Others who decide to leave the religion do so quietly, gradually fading away, without fanfare, generally in an effort to maintain some contact with their friends and family. The Watchtower Society seems to be quite proud of the fact that its congregations disfellowship all these people every year. The year 1991 was the last occasion that the Watchtower published the number of those disfellowshipped each year: The Watchtower 1991 11/15 p. 9 par. 4 Self-Control—Why So Important?
Men are “without self-control” often because of greed, one form of which is being “lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God.” (2 Timothy 3:1-5) This sobering truth has forcefully been brought home to us by the exclusion of over 40,000 erring individuals from fellowship with the Christian congregation during the past service year, largely because of grossly wrong conduct.
The Society views disfellowshipping in a very positive light and proclaims that such drastic action brings lasting benefits for both the congregation and the “wrongdoer” (the loaded language word-label that refers to those who are disfellowshipped). Interestingly, in the Watchtower Society's publication index under the heading “Disfellowshipping”, the last subheading that appears is “right of every society” and refers to the April 15, 1988 Watchtower. There is a box on page 30 that refers to a quote from Edward Gibbon, which seems to support the Society's hardline stance on excommunication.
Excommunication—What Effect?English historian Edward Gibbon wrote about the propriety and effect of disfellowshipping nearer the time of the apostles: “It is the undoubted right of every society to exclude from its communion and benefits such among its members as reject or violate those regulations which have been established by general consent. . . . The consequences of excommunication were of a temporal [earthly] as well as a spiritual nature. The Christian against whom it was pronounced was deprived of any part in the oblations of the faithful. The ties both of religious and of private friendship were dissolved."
No mention is made of where the quote comes from or when it was written. Thanks to the Internet, however, such quotes can be easily located. Gibbon himself lived from 1737 to 1794, so the society really had to dig into the past to find a quote that would support their extreme practices. Interestingly, the quote comes from p.345 of Gibbon's 1900 page book, “The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire”4, and is taken from the section detailing the practices of the early church. While the society places the reference “nearer the time of the apostles”, a look at Gibbon's table of contents indicates that he was discussing ecclesiastical order:
The society does not believe in the “Roman Pontiff” “Laity and Clergy”, or “Episcopal Government”, and in fact, as any Jehovah's Witness knows, the Society believes that the Church after the death of the apostles was apostate. Yet the Society feels no qualms in imitating the early church's excommunication practices since these match its own harsh, authoritarian practices.
Generally, a person is disfellowshipped due to participating in some sort of activity that is prohibited by the Society (called a "disfellowshipping offense", "serious wrongdoing", or "gross sin"). Some of these prohibitions may find their place in scripture, while other prohibitions are the result of the Society interpretation of some scripture. Proof of this can be seen in that some activities have been considered disfellowshipping offenses at one time, and then have been adjusted and are on the list of less serious wrongdoing, which merit counsel from the "elders" (each congregation's Society-approved spiritual leaders) , but not disfellowshipping. Other activities have ben considered not so serious and later have been placed on the list of "gross sins" that merit disfellowshipping.* (see note below)
Since such a person has engaged in the prohibited activity (which, according to the Society, most of the time is sexual relations outside of marriage) and is unrepentant, local congregation elders decide that such a person must be disfellowshipped. This protects the congregation in two ways. One way is that the evildoer will not be able to influence other congregation members to participate in wrongdoing. In a few cases, this could be a laudable objective, such as in the case of a pedophile who might be disfellowshipped and thus would not be able to look for victims within the congregation. But in the majority of cases, those disfellowshipped are not pedophiles and pose little or no risk to their fellow believers. A second, and more important reason for many JWs, is that the congregation must be kept clean by removing the wicked person from their midst and . Since no Jehovah's Witness would want to risk losing the free flow of Jehovah's holy spirit, most Witnesses feel that the cutting off of disfellowshipped ones protects the congregation. (See Chapter "x" for details on how Judicial committees work). Of course, not everyone that is disfellowshipped is guilty of some sort of "sin". A number of people have investigated the doctrines and teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses as the Bible itself recommends, as in the example of the Bereans. Acts 17:11 states that the Bereans were “noble minded”, because they “carefully examining the Scriptures daily as to whether these things [Paul's Christian teachings] were so” . After such investigation, some have come to the conclusion that one or more of Jehovah's Witnesses current official doctrines are not based on scripture, but are rather based on a human opinion or the Society's changing interpretation of scripture.** The society's injunction against association with such a disfellowshipped person, who the Society and Jehovah's Witnesses will label an “apostate”, prevents the congregation from learning about the research that places Jehovah's Witnesses in a bad light. Besides claiming that disfellowshipping protects the congregation, the Society claims that disfellowshipping benefits the disfellowshipped person. Disfellowshipped persons are treated as untouchables, persons lower than human, unworthy of even a glance, and definitely not a greeting. They base this treatment on scriptures such as 2 John 9-11 and 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 (see Chapter y for details). This means that members of the JW congregation will not say even say a simple “hello” to these persons, and will avoid eye contact if at all possible. If a Disfellowshipped person is approached by a JW, he/she is expected to advise that he is Disfellowshipped, hang their heads low in shame, and keep quiet. I have witnessed this happen many times, and I think that it is a shame and a deplorable situation. Even closely related family members are prohibited from association with the disfellowshipped person.
To add insult to injury, the Society places all the blame on the disfellowshipped person. While the disfellowshipped individual may wish to continue family ties, the Jehovah's Witness relatives cut off all association. The Watchower 1981 9/15 p. 27 par. 7 If a Relative Is Disfellowshiped . . .
The conduct of the wrongdoer has changed his relationship with Jehovah and therefore with family members who are Jehovah’s Witnesses. God is not to blame for these results, because his standards are righteous and just. (Job 34:10, 12) Nor does the fault rest with the faithful Christian relatives. It is the disfellowshipped person who has made problems for himself and for his relatives, as did Korah, Dathan and Abiram
So even though the disfellowshipped family members may wish to maintain a normal family relationship, the Society blames the disfellowshipped ones for breaking up the family. While the Society recognizes that such treatment causes distress, it insists that such distress is beneficial. Watchtower 1988 4/15 p. 30 par. 24 Discipline That Can Yield Peaceable Fruit
Laurie’s parents were disfellowshipped. Yet she says: ‘My association with them never stopped but increased. As time went on, I became more and more inactive. I got to the point of not even attending meetings.’ Then she read material in The Watchtower of September 1 and 15, 1981, that stressed the counsel of 1 Corinthians 5:11-13 and 2 John 9-11. “It was as if a light bulb were turned on in me,” she writes. ‘I knew I would have to make some changes. I now better understand the meaning of Matthew 10:34-36. My decision was not an easy one for my family to swallow, for my son, five, is the only boy, and they love him dearly.’ It is hoped that losing such association will touch the parents’ hearts.
Thus, in Laurie's case, if her parents decided never to return to Jehovah's Witnesses, they will never see their daughter or grandchildren. How can the blame be placed on the parents, when the religious extremism of Laurie and the Watchtower Society is to blame? The Watchtower frequently cites cases of persons who are disfellowshipped and who have appreciated the benefits of being shunned. A disfellowshipped woman who was later reinstated, named Margaret tells her story: The Watchtower 1988 4/15 p. 30 par. 23 Discipline That Can Yield Peaceable Fruit
‘If you had viewed the disfellowshipping lightly, I know that I would not have taken steps toward reinstatement as soon as I did. Being totally cut off from loved ones and from close contact with the congregation created a strong desire to repent. I realized just how wrong my course was and how serious it was to turn my back on Jehovah.’
However, the Society does not give ear to the stories of many who have felt that disfellowshipping has caused tremendous emotional pain, as well as other hardships. Note what some disfellowshipped persons have said about how they felt upon being disfellowshipped: A 49 year old Witness writes about her experience:
When I was Disfellowshipped, it was the most traumatic thing I had been through up until that point. It was a death sentence. I had five children. They were under my headship, it was a death sentence for us all. I was panicked, the end was coming soon. I was scum from the very bottom of the earth, not worthy to be alive. I lived in fear everyday. I was alone. I really was scared out of my wits, physically sick. I cried for days. I never felt so empty, worthless and distraught. It took me awhile to get my bearings. I was ashamed, I felt sorry that my kids had me for a mother. I was a disgrace even to those that were not in the truth...I can't think of anything I have ever gone through worse than being disfellowshipped and all that encompasses. 5
This woman suffered the effects of disfellowshipping for nine years until she finally decided that she could no longer tolerate the unnatural shunning practices of her family. She returned to meetings and was reinstated, yet she no longer believes in that Jehovah's Witnesses teach the truth. A 29 year old witness writes a similar experience:
When I was disfellowshipped (before my reinstatement and current fade), my whole world was turned upside down. It was like, I always thought I understood what it was all about until I was knee deep in it. My life was centered around being a witness. It was literally all I knew and then suddenly I was all alone. That was a very destructive time in my life. I was looking for a way to fill the void and put myself in some bad situations. I had no friends. My mom would check on me from time to time to make sure I was okay but I was by myself. My dad didn't talk to me at all. I was just rebuilding my relationship with my sister who had left the religion ten years before so I didn't feel comfortable sharing everything with her. The feeling never really went away and after having my daughter my mom laid a lot a guilt on me in regards to her everlasting future. So I was reinstated. But it wasn't long before "the truth" was sounding a whole lot like the false to me again. 6
This experience highlights one of the biggest challenges facing disfellowshipped persons. An obedient Jehovah's Witness has no friends outside of the faith, as the Society teaches that all persons who are not Jehovah's Witnesses are “bad association” and should be avoided. Thus, many disfellowshipped persons, such as the sister cited in this last experience, find themselves with no friends at all, and, if their family is composed of Jehovah's Witnesses, they will have no family either. A 44 year old former Witness in the United Kingdom writes:
I DA'd because I felt lied to and betrayed. I truly expected to be shunned but not to the extent I was and certainly not by the people closest to me.. I had been a very active and, dare I say it, popular witness for 21 years and I had lots of friends in several local congregations. I didn't expect every friend I had to shun me without exception, I honestly thought that the witnesses would see such an action wasn't necessary in my case as I wasn't doing anything immoral. How naive of me!
Wayne Rogers was disfellowshipped for apostasy over 10 years ago, yet he describes his pain vividly: As I was questioning the 607/1914 doctrine, I had a growing sense of impending inevitability that I would soon be on the outside. My wife was starting to distance herself from me, and my extensive discussion with my father about my concerns fell flat. Bringing my issues to the elders also brought no answers, but only served to alert them to keep a close watch on me. I was always led to believe that 'you only get disfellowshipped if you wanted to', and that the primary purpose was to shepherd the individual. This was not my experience at all. My series of judicial hearing meetings with the elders always started off with them asking if I had some sort of recording device on me. These were interrogation meetings with the intent to boot me out the door as soon as possible without me talking about my issues with anyone else. The pivotal question they had for me was if "I believed that everything in the Watchtower literature was 'food at the proper time' from the Faithful and Discreet Slave". They told me "You're not here to change our mind, and we're not here to change yours", at my appeal hearing. Coming back home to tell my wife that I was going to be disfellowshipped was like walking down death row to the gas chamber. My wife, who was the one who turned me in for having questioned the blood doctrine, was not sympathetic. Being labeled as an 'apostate' is the most horrible thing a JW can imagine. She looked at me with literal fear in her eyes, as if she was 'sleeping with the enemy'. She refused to listen to a word i would say. If I even brought out the Bible to show her something, she would run from the room with her hands over her ears yelling "I'm not listening! I'm not listening!". She left me soon after my disfellowshipment after 12 years of marriage. Not a single one of my friends or family, save for my father, came to me to find out what happened. I was shut out as quickly as one turns off a light switch. I was literally all alone. A few weeks later it really hit me, and the depression turned into actual stress-related illness. I landed in the hospital for a week. The shunning was hard to cope with, and continues to be, ten years later. I rarely see my parents, and have not seen my sister a single time. One of the last times I saw my mother, I tried reasoning with her as to what had I actually done wrong? All I had done was question certain teachings. Its not like I had cheated on my wife or something....my mother replied that "it would have been better if I had cheated on my wife than to do what I had done". She continues to think that shunning is the only way to make me return to the "Truth", and she obstructs any attempts by my father to take a more moderate approach with me. Of course, she is wrong. Shunning addresses not a single question as to the validity of their doctrines, and harsh treatment does nothing to make me desire to return to such an authoritarian controlling group. Despite the hardships and sacrifices I have had to endure being railroaded out of the Jehovah's Witnesses, I know that I am far better off being in control of my own life and thoughts. 8 With more than 40,000 persons disfellowshipped each year, these experiences are merely the tip of the iceberg. This book is dedicated to these people who are suffering the inhumane effects of shunning. These effects can last for years, even decades. What can these persons do to address their pain? How can they recover from Jehovah’s Witnesses? In this book I set out my personal experience in the hope that it will be helpful to both former and active Jehovah’s Witnesses, and persons who have family members who are Jehovah’s Witnesses. People who study cults or who are interested about the negative effects of religious fundamentalism will also find this book enlightening. I will detail my experience growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, as well as my progress to become a ministerial servant, a pioneer, an elder, a special pioneer, a Bethelite, and a Gilead missionary. I will explain what led me take the difficult decision to leave the religion of my childhood, and what I have done to cope with the many losses. I have lost my belief system, my friends, and many of my family. Yet I am a happier person as a result. This is my journey… and if you are a current or former Jehovah’s Witness, it could be your story too… References: Notes: * Examples of activities not specifically mentioned in the Bible that have either become disfellowshipping offenses or were disfellowshipping offenses and no longer are: 1. One example of an activity that used to be considered a disfellowshipping offense is oral sex inside marriage. When two marriage mates, even if mutually consenting, practiced any form of oral sex, this could be considered porneia (Greek for fornication), and was a disfellowshipping offense. In fact, both marriage mates could be disfellowshipped for indulging in such “lewd activity”. (W 11/15/1974 pp 703-4) Married people could obtain a Society sanctioned divorce (which is termed a "scriptural divorce") if their mate, whether a JW or not, insisted on performing or requesting oral sex. This changed in 1983 when the Watchtower indicated that oral sex between marriage mates did not constitute fornication, and such a practice within marriage was placed on the less serious sins list, although still its a no-no for JWs down to this day. 2. Pornography-viewing has long been on the list of Society disapproved activities, yet (see letter to BOE) now certain types of pornography viewing or certain frequencies can be grounds for disfellowshipping. The Society makes distinctions betweeen which types of porn-viewing require an inquest (a Judicial Committee) and which do not. Towards the end of the letter, the Society admits that this is a change and that some elders who attended their recent elder's school may have applied the rules too strictly, yet these decisions would stand. Such flip-flopping on what is a disfellowshipping offense indicates that the Society's disfellowshipping rules are on a shaky ground, since the rules are based on opinion rather than what is explicitly stated in the book they profess to follow implicitly. ** I use the term “current doctrines” since the Jehovah's Witness doctrines are in doctrines are in constant flux... Note how Jesus' reference to a “generation” at Matthew 24:34 have been interpreted in various ways over time: 1927: Refers to anointed Jehovah's Witnesses 1942: Includes anointed Jehovah's Witnesses (but no further explanation given) 1949: Refers to the generation that observes the events from 1914 onward 1995: Refers to wicked people living on the earth since 1914 2007: Refers to anointed Jehovah's Witnesses
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Comments (1)
  written by Kathy P , December 31, 2009 I read your intro. I know how you feel. Never ask a question or you will be put on a 'watch' list. Yet in college the first thing you learn is to question everything. Thats the only way to really learn. I feel that I'm on such a list because I have so many questions. Espically since I have two grown disfellowshipped children. My husband nor I shun them. After all, they are our children & they have our grandchildren. The Elders said it was okay to go see the grandkids even tho it means talking to our DF'd children. This still rips me apart, two family members out & two other two in. They DO shun the DF'd ones. I am seeing a thearapist & a Phsy. for my nerves that are so shot. I guess Jesus really meant it when he said, "I came not to put peace on the earth, but rather a sword," that his teachings were intended to split families apart. I cannot understand that. report abuse
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