Perhaps you, like myself, were lucky enough to be raised in a home where punishment was not the dominant attitude of your parents. Many of us weren't so lucky, however. Our parents made sure we knew that we would be disciplined for every infraction of their protocol, either physically or through a popular "punishment vibe" that includes the following:

• stern, stare down looks that make you wish you were in Kansas (or somewhere else you could hide)
• accompanying penalties such as limited communication with the offended party and a lowering of atmospheric temperature by 10 degrees (local only)
• several ways you can redeem yourself, though not ABSOLVING your guilt, rather, making it somewhat bearable
• You are visually reduced in size to 40% of your original height (through the warden's eyes, though you often begin to see yourself as the warden does immature, untrustworthy, "give'em an inch and they'll take a mile" attitude). This was not good for you, in case you did not realize that. Hello?

Unfortunately, the members of the Governing Body of Jehovah's Witnesses were raised in such households, unless they later became converts to using this "vibe" to control the masses (JWs now number over 4 million). When I arrived at Bethel (their world headquarters) to work for four years (and can you believe I actually stayed for six years, and even LIKED it?), this attitude was quite obvious, as it emanated profusely from most of the overseers, and even a large percentage of my peers. Fine-tuning and mimicking this attitude got you promotions to ministerial servant and elder positions. If you were really plucky and impressed your superiors with your theocratic redneck attitude, they could then "trust" that you were one of "them," and you might in time become a Bethel elder (you were almost Governing Body then!). How do I know all this?

I was one of these geeks, too. I came to Bethel already versed on what to expect, so I not only survived the first year (50% didn't, even though they signed up for four years), but I had the attitude DOWN. It was no wonder that I was given all the best positions, and was appointed as an elder at 25 (though they had just passed a ruling say you had to be 30), and a Bethel elder at 26.

Right before I saw the light in 1980 and resigned, I was actually turning in some brothers for questioning the organization. Anyone who did not have the right attitude was watched and weeded out. I, though not being raised in this environment, was a convert to it. Actually, it had its own thrills (or "high," if you will), which "drug" we all enjoyed immensely.

After this new drug wore off, however, I began to actually love the brothers I worked with, and sought their own spiritual and emotional growth. I began to treat them as adults, taking the chance that they might abuse this trust.

This was really the core spirit of the Watchtower organization: Lack of trust. I knew from the start that a God of love would be at least as smart as my own parents, and would not use punishment tactics on his children, but would earn their love through trust and mercy. Even if this love and mercy was abused, most would turn around in time and love their Father all the more. I tried it on those who worked under me. I would leave my floor (I was a floor overseer in the factory) and expect the work to be done by the brothers without me nagging them, and they appreciated this trust. They knew I cared for them and wanted to help them.

Our floor became a model floor for tours, as it was neat and very efficient and productive as well. I ignored the advice of MY overseer, who continually said, "You can't trust the brothers." "Give `em a rope and they'll hang themselves."

"Wheels" (as we called him) was creative when it came to punishments for those who wasted too much paper on the press, took off early for lunch, etc. (He once pulled out all the stops when he suggested that at lunch time, instead of rushing through showers and waiting at the locker room door to leave, you might even help your brothers get ready. "Wheels" made sure we had no shortage of locker room jokes, at his expense!)

I might mention at this point that I had come to believe that God, assuming He was more mature than even good parents, was above the "punishment vibe," and would use love, trust and mercy to help us grow up. I knew that parents who used this Victorian tactic were themselves sick and needed help, so God certainly wouldn't use it. If good parents consistently used a much more effective and loving way of raising their children that didn't engender a lack of trust and low self-esteem, then God could not be so immature that He would use it, or condone its use.

To be honest with you, this was the main reason I left Bethel, even more so than the doctrinal issues at hand. For the first time in seven years, I finally saw that the Watchtower leadership based their control on suspicion and lack of trust. In 1979-1980, during the big shakeup at Bethel, the proverbial "curtain" was pulled back from the wizard's booth, (did you ever see the Wizard of OZ?).

It was like an Elk's club meeting, only worse. These men were name-calling, slandering, disguising the truth of the real issues at hand, and making everyone afraid to even question their authority. My respect for them went from 95% (very high for even the Bethel scale) to 0% (very LOW on my scale). You might say that I grew out of Bethel, and then the organization, because I got tired of sandbox politics (more on this later!) Fortunately, I kept my sense of humor through this whole thing (wait `til I get going on THAT!) editor.

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written by Kitty Scott , October 20, 2009

It seems that the brothers are really getting cruel with their punishment now. I have heard a CO and a DO both say that the family of a girl that had been disfellowshipped should not be bothered by any precieved cruel treatment since "she should be stoned under Jehovah's old law".( It takes on average 9 minutes for a girl to die when being stoned by her family) It sickens me to think they get away with that kind of insensitive mean spirited talk right from the platform and then they have the gull to say "it's not coming from them but Directly from Jehovah". Sone one has to put a stop to them.

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Absusive Parents
written by Haliara , August 23, 2010

I was lucky enough not to be physically abused by my parents. Although my brother was terribly. During bible studies my father beat him if he got something wrong and put him down constantly. My mother did nothing to protect her son either. I guess because she is taught by the Witnesses that the Man of the House says what goes on in the house.

I was not physically abused but certainly was terribly psychologically. My parents were pretty much done raising kids by the time i was born and basically let my sisters raise me. Anyway, I was a good kid and never got into trouble because I was mind controlled by such an early age. But i also believe that's why i didn't go along with the JW's in the end because I was the youngest and grew up during the internet learning age. I thank the internet for my education and discovery of the lies and deception the WTS. and sites like this.

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