In Memory of Jan Groenveld

Jan Groenveld was a close personal friend in Brisbane, Australia and hosted the Freedom In Christ Ministry. Her passing in October 2002 was a great loss to many of us, both in ministry as well as family (husband Simon, sons Simon and Jacob and several others) and a large host of friends. Jan is a former Mormon and a former Jehovah's Witness. 

After leaving the Witnesses and coming to know Jesus Christ, she also undertook many studies at the collegiate level in psychology and thought control. We at Free Minds, Inc. wish to preserve her memory with one of her best lectures, entitled "There Are No Wasted Years" on Real Audio format. 

Randy Watters

listen to "There Are No Wasted Years"    Need a free Real Audio player? Go here.  

This lecture can also be found on the Pioneers in Ministry CD-rom in mp3 format here.

Other Real Video items that include Jan in a lighthearted spirit!

Wimp on the Barbie
Apostates Discover Australia
Dogz and Jerry Falwell

Jan Groenveld	Your spirit will forever burn in our hearts

from Simon Groenveld, November 2, 2002:

As you are probably all aware my mother, Jan Groenveld passed away last week at 3.15am, 

October 22nd at the tender age of 57 and was finally laid to rest yesterday morning at a very 

touching service attended by many of her closest friends, Family and "extended" family.  The

auditorium was filled to capacity and overflowing and I was honoured that my mother was thought

of so deeply by so many and that she had such an impact on so many lives.

Jan's website: www.caic.org.au

Below is a poem that Jan wrote very recently.

"It Hurts"

 IT HURTS to discover you were deceived - that what you thought was the "one true religion," the "path to total freedom," or "truth" was in reality a cult.

 IT HURTS when you learn that people you trusted implicitly - whom you were taught not to question - were "pulling the wool over your eyes" albeit unwittingly.

 IT HURTS when you learn that those you were taught were your "enemies" were telling the truth after all -- but you had been told they were liars, deceivers, repressive, satanic etc and not to listen to them.

 IT HURTS when you know your faith in God hasn't changed - only your trust in an organization - yet you are accused of apostasy, being a trouble maker, a "Judas". It hurts even more when it is your family and friends making these accusations.

 IT HURTS to realize their love and acceptance was conditional on you remaining a member of good standing. This cuts so deeply you try and suppress it. All you want to do is forget - but how can you forget your family and friends?

 IT HURTS to see the looks of hatred coming from the faces of those you love - to hear the deafening silence when you try and talk to them. It cuts deeply when you try and give your child a hug and they stand like a statue, pretending you aren't there. It stabs like a knife when you know your spouse looks upon you as demonised and teaches your children to hate you.

 IT HURTS to know you must start all over again. You feel you have wasted so much time. You feel betrayed, disillusioned, suspicious of everyone including family, friends and other former members.

 IT HURTS when you find yourself feeling guilty or ashamed of what you were - even about leaving them. You feel depressed, confused, lonely. You find it difficult to make decisions. You don't know what to do with yourself because you have so much time on your hands now - yet you still feel guilty for spending time on recreation.

 IT HURTS when you feel as though you have lost touch with reality. You feel as though you are "floating" and wonder if you really are better off and long for the security you had in the organization and yet you know you cannot go back.

 IT HURTS when you feel you are all alone - that no one seems to understand what you are feeling. It hurts when you realize your self confidence and self worth are almost non-existent.

 IT HURTS when you have to front up to friends and family to hear their "I told you so" whether that statement is verbal or not. It makes you feel even more stupid than you already do - your confidence and self worth plummet even further.

 IT HURTS when you realize you gave up everything for the cult - your education, career, finances, time and energy - and now have to seek employment or restart your education. How do you explain all those missing years?

 IT HURTS because you know that even though you were deceived, you are responsible for being taken in. All that wasted time........ at least that is what it seems to you - wasted time.

THE PAIN OF GRIEF

Leaving a cult is like experiencing the death of a close relative or a broken relationship. The feeling is often described as like having been betrayed by someone with whom you were in love. You feel you were simply used.

 There is a grieving process to pass through. Whereas most people understand that a person must grieve after a death etc, they find it difficult to understand the same applies in this situation. There is no instant cure for the grief, confusion and pain. Like all grieving periods, time is the healer. Some feel guilty, or wrong about this grief. They shouldn't -- It IS normal. It is NOT wrong to feel confused, uncertain, disillusioned, guilty, angry, untrusting - these are all part of the process. In time the negative feelings will be replaced with clear thinking, joy, peace, and trust.

 YES - IT HURTS BUT THE HURTS WILL HEAL WITH TIME, PATIENCE & UNDERSTANDING

There is life after the cult.

 Used with permission: Copyright (c) Jan Groenveld

…and from the FMSurvivors maillist:

 At 06:35 a.m. 21/10/2002 +1000, Jan Groenveld wrote the day before she passed away:

 The Power of One

 One song can spark a moment,

One flower can wake the dream

One tree can start a forest,

One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,

One handclasp lifts a soul.

One star can guide a ship at sea,

One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation,

One sunbeam lights a room.

One candle wipes out darkness,

One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey,

One word must start each prayer.

One hope will raise our spirits,

One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,

One heart can know what's true.

One life can make the difference,

You see it's up to "You"

         Author Unknown

Jan's death was announced on the Witchhunt list. Her last post here seems very fitting.

Thanks Jan, for all your contributions.

Brian

reFOCUS celebrates Jan’s life, one that truly made a difference!

 * * * * *  

Comments, questions, and suggestions: email us!

reFOCUS, P.O. Box 2180 , Flagler Beach , FL 32136 904-439-7541

Web site: http://www.refocus.org

Though battles fierce and foes immense

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