| Helping Jehovah's Witnesses Leave |
| Written by Jeffrey Byrge |
| Sunday, 28 February 2010 10:14 |
I don't disagree with the fact that Jehovah’s Witnesses are somewhat dangerous and usually go for the low hanging fruit. Anyone with a curious, questioning mind who doesn't immediately accept the dogma is usually given the lowest priority from an individual Jehovah’s Witness or a congregation. Which brings us to a very important key to helping Jehovah’s Witnesses leave if they feel trapped. Most Jehovah’s Witnesses today are low hanging fruit as far as the Governing Body is concerned. These are ones who bought in quick, questioned little, made the commitment, and are now, for lack of a better word, stuck. So when I see some hysterical, nearly theatrical attempts at discrediting Jehovah’s Witnesses on the internet (subliminal pics in watchtowers? Satan worship at bethel? Get real....) In an effort to get current members to quit, it makes me laugh. It sure wouldn't have worked on me while I was an active Jehovah’s Witness. Why try concepts that ultimately, don't work and aren't the real reason why Jehovah’s Witnesses leave anyway? Since the information age began in earnest in the late 90's, information via the internet on any subject, including Jehovah’s Witnesses, is readily available. Personal real life stories are usually enough to inform a somewhat reasonable Jehovah’s Witness of the consequences and dangers of living the Jehovah’s Witness life. So if you really want to help Jehovah’s Witnesses leave, then you have to understand something; most are Jehovah’s Witnesses because they didn't question a whole lot. Or, to put it another way, they were persuaded to accept an overly simplistic answer to those questions they had so they wouldn't question anymore. That is the Jehovah’s Witness way, surface answers only. They didn't become Jehovah’s Witnesses because the Governing Body claimed to be representing the faithful and discreet slave of Matthew 24. No one new understands that, they trust one day they will. Most don't become Jehovah’s Witnesses because Jehovah’s Witnesses claim they got 1914 right. New ones generally don't understand the 1914 teaching anyway and trust one day they will. Like any new recruit to a religion or cult, they simply grow to feel comfortable with the little group/congregation they get associated with. In the case of Jehovah’s Witnesses, it isn't the convoluted prophecies and dogma that are unique to Jehovah’s Witnesses that are promoted. Paradise earth is promoted. Living forever is promoted. A loving brotherhood is promoted. The rest of the Jehovah’s Witness dogma, other than the basics, isn't consequential. The rest of the dogma is mentioned in passing and then filed away. So if someone didn't become a Jehovah’s Witness because of 1914, or the weird hierarchy of the Governing Body, is it reasonable to think that screaming about these lies (they are lies, no doubt) will affect great change? So how does one loosen up Jehovah’s Witnesses? Just like the GB likes to get the low hanging fruit for their purposes, there is low hanging fruit within the Jehovah’s Witness organization, although their dynamics are actually polar opposite from the typical Jehovah’s Witness profile. The first question is, why do Jehovah’s Witnesses leave anyway? Some learn about the lies, but most have been mistreated by an organization that claims to be loving, and even has their own unique definitions of what love is. Like any sane human, once mistreated sufficiently, prepare for them to take off and spread the word. Dogma isn't the point. No one in my opinion joins or leaves Jehovah’s Witnesses because of the dogma alone. In fact, most leave because being mistreated makes them take a fresh look at the dogma they really never took the time to study and understand in the first place. Jehovah’s Witnesses have very weird beliefs. In an initial recruiting study using one of the publications they use, Jehovah’s Witnesses will mention them briefly in the hopes that they are accepted. They want the study to think in these basic terms "before studying with Jehovah’s Witnesses, I didn't know that Jehovah was the true god, Jesus was Gods son, not part of the trinity, and that paradise earth is waiting the faithful after the destruction of the wicked. I don't understand 1914 or what the faithful and discreet slave means, but I trust I will. And they say that Jerusalem was destroyed in 607BC? Sure, I never paid attention to that in school anyway." Remember, if you really want to affect a Jehovah’s Witness, or expose Jehovah’s Witnesses, then you can do that, but ultimately, this is a "bring a horse to water, but you can't make them drink scenario." Hysterics don't work. Reasoned facts do. Innuendos and sensationalism doesn't work. Real life stories chronicling the mistreatment, neglect, incompetence, and sometimes criminal neglect (where pedophiles are concerned) are enough to loosen the mind, so that honest hearted Jehovah’s Witnesses will feel they have permission to defy the Governing Body, and research Jehovah’s Witnesses on their own. That is the only way you can help a Jehovah’s Witness to leave. Bring them the water, leave them the water and wait for them to get it.
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Comments (16)
  written by Barbara , March 01, 2010 "In fact, most leave because being mistreated makes them take a fresh look at the dogma they really never took the time to study and understand in the first place." That is true for me and my husband. Also the policy of shunning one's own children, which directly affected our family. Realizing that such a destructive teaching was their "policy" and not scripturally based was an important factor in our disconnect. I simply took the time to study, read the bible and realized the body of doctrine they had constructed was their own, not scriptural. As you say - JWs have to come to this on their own. Sometimes it takes a series of events, such as mistreatment, to be the catalyst for such an examination. report abuse
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 written by Sheila Rae , March 02, 2010 Hi, I was a long time JW. (born and raised) I left the Org in 1998 baptized in 1962 (when 14 y/0) My leaving was the combination of two things. First, it was the doctrine. (the teaching that they had preached concerning 1874, their believing that Christ had returned at that date and didn't change it until the late 20's or later. And on account of learning about this date, I then began to question their new date of 1914 for Christ's return. Second, it was the lack of love I experienced when the congregation saw that I had begun to slow down in my meeting attendance and door to door ministry. Because I had become inactive for a month, I was not allowed to obtain a copy of the Kingdom Ministry (An instruction sheet for the Thursday eve. meetings) Nor would my book study elder agree to make a copy of it for me. The cold stares and somewhat shunning by some, and I could see that the congregation meeting attendance was very low, and I didn't see the "great increase" which the WT Governing Body claimed which would be occurring because the time was so short. Also I could see that the churches and parking lots were not shrinking as they claimed but GROWING! So all of this was a "Wake-up" call to me and it alarmed me enough to decide to make a further investigation into the other past teachings and the currant teachings of the Witnesses and compare them with the Scriptures. I came to the conclusion that we (JW) have made the mistake of having put too much trust in men to teach us, instead of first turning to God and asking for His help (through the Holy Spirit) in order to learn what is in His Word. I did not trust what others claimed or taught on the internet, but it was the Scriptures which convinced me, and also various Watchtower Society quotes. I learned that it is a big mistake to completely rely upon men and to let a minister, or Bible teacher teach you what is in God's Word without doing a PERSONAL deep prayerful reading and study of the Bible FIRST in order to FIRST get a clearer understanding and knowledge of what is in the Bible. I agree with you that many who become Jehovah's Witnesses must have not have had very much knowledge of the Bible before they became involved with the WT Organization. report abuse
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 written by easingout , March 02, 2010 Wow, this post was very helpful to me. I wasn't really connecting with most of those that post here. You see, neither me nor my family has ever been mistreated or abused by anyone in the organization. In fact, I would have expected to see more of it than I have just because it exists in every organization – EVERY organization. That’s people. I didn’t leave Catholicism because there was abuse but because they were wrong. Jeffrey, you hit the nail on the head with so many things. To me, the JW’s did have good scriptural explanations for so many more things than I could find in other religions that over time I did put aside the things I couldn’t get my head around. But they weren’t what I considered critical issues. For instance, the ban on birthdays seemed vague and insubstantial. Or disfellowshipping for smoking which didn’t seem to fit in with the serious moral or divisive wrongs that Paul spoke about. The restrictions on what happens behind closed doors between two married people when the scriptures are totally mute on such intimacy. Things like that. It was the meditation and research that I did on the blood issue as a member of the HLC that triggered it for me. I came to realize not that they had misrepresented facts, though they had. Not that they had misapplied scriptures, thought they had. It was not even the quilt I felt when I used their twisted reasoning in successfully reasoning with doctors on HLC cases, though I had. It was the realization that their stand on blood as a whole is just plain impossible. It is unreasonable, illogical, unscriptural and indefensible. (I will spare any details as they are out there for any reasoning person with the WT library to find). It was this breakdown in a CORE BELIEF that changed my thinking. It was tracking the history and seeing how each adjustment simply made the problem worse, not better. It was the realization that by their own definitions, the WT had inescapably brought blood guilt upon themselves and lacked the courage to set the matter straight. It was then that the other things that I had safely locked away in the back of my mind came rushing back. The impossibility of the flood account. The canonicity of the Bible by apostate Christendom despite the recent disclaimers. The 9 or 12 guys on the GB with almost no other anointed brothers at Bethel despite the thousands that are in that class. The flip-flopping on issues like vaccines and transplants. Their claim as the only true expression of God’s spirit on earth but a complete refusal to own up to their own mistakes (isn’t the whole thing on ‘generations’ over the last few years just deplorable?) And many other things that I won’t take time to list. You see, it’s simply impossible for it to be the truth. And that doesn’t even include non-dogma issues like youth baptism and this wild obsession they have with higher education. In spite of all of the forgoing, I really want to be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses… I just can’t be. Everyone I truly care about is in this organization, over twenty-five family members including children and grandchildren. My heart breaks everyday. The stress is affecting me physically. The frustration that I feel of not being able to discuss these really important things with people I love and respect causes me literal physical pain. When I actually have had very detailed conversations with elders (both when I was on the body and after) they have, to a man, always agreed with my reasoning and could offer no alternative explanations. I am told to rely on the FDS and leave it in Jehovah’s hands. Why don’t they speak up? Why am I so alone? For the time being, it is what it is. So you see, Jeffrey, I think that there are many… many of us out here… that want to leave not because we have been abused or been the victims of prejudice or intolerance, have been insulted or even have lost family members to disfellowshipping (which I have). We have to leave because it is just not true, not inspired, not real. It is smoke and mirrors at its finest. With your post I now understand more about the amount of poison in the air from those that have left. We who came into the organization of our own free will as adults have one perspective. Those that were raised in it (like my own children) and then discovered the falsehood probably have reason for a level of resentment that I may never be able to feel. I don’t feel resentment. I feel sad. I feel foolish. report abuse
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 written by Clint Bussey , March 02, 2010 @easingout I couldn't feel more in agreement with you on the matter of why you have left or are wanting to leave the WT. I see the flaws in the doctrine of the Witnesses and the flaws and errors in the Bible in itself. Yes, the catholic Church decided which books should and should not go into the Bible. So why should we accept their authority! To make a long story short, I left the Witnesses and am not interested in any other religion either. But I have made a thorough search, both with my heart and mind for truth, and I feel like their is a greater purpose to our association with the Witnesses. I still believe that the earth will soon be a "paradise". I believe that we will have a big role in helping to bring that about. We sowed the seed, preaching the good news. I believe the harvest has come. The greatest harvest to have ever occured yet. report abuse
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 written by JoJoJones , March 03, 2010 I wish I knew how to go about "leaving the water". It is a great idea, but trying to do that with my JW family members would be a real challenge. My sister's preaching and/or lecturing really makes it difficult to talk with her about her religion. I guess I feel kind of overwhelmed. I would really like to be able to make her and other JW family members see sense, but, boy, is that hard! report abuse
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 written by Jose L , March 03, 2010 it took a lot of courage for me to leave the JWs behind. I was raised in this religion by my parents. My dad's an elder, my mom and sister are regular pioneers. It just wasn't real to me. I had too many questions and no real answers from anyone. It was always "you just need to have more faith" or "you need to pray more" or "eventually you'll understand". The hardest part of all of this is the shunning and guilt. I long for a relationship with my family but I can't have one with them unless I come back to the church. My family lets me know how hurt they are because I had the courage to leave something I don't believe in. That really kills me every day. I'm glad I found this website though. report abuse
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 written by Emily , March 04, 2010 Thanks for the post! You hit the nail on the head. I and my family left because of mistreatment. I was df'ed for getting out of an abusive relationship in which I was raped by another woman. They wouldn't let me get reinstated unless I admitted my "blame" in the whole thing. I went through tortuous elders meetings in which they told me things like "You need a lot of help and it's not going to come from the congregation" and "face it, you want it" and you have a wicked heart." Even after all that I still tried to get them to reinstate me so that I could have my family and friends back (thankfully,my immediate family stood by my side through the whole thing). Once I came to terms with the idea of not having my friends and family back I was able to walk away and I haven't looked back. I know I did the right thing because 6 weeks later I met my husband and IMMEDIATELY we both knew we were meant to be together. I am happily married with 3 kids, my immediate family (parents, brother and sister) and friends who share my interests and like me for me. report abuse
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 written by losthope , March 05, 2010 I am a young mother who divorced my husband who was an elder, for many serious issues that had nothing to do with the religion. I was "born" in the truth and never questioned its beliefs, just always accepted everything I was told without really investigating for fear of getting expelled. I re-married a "worldly" man who I love and cherish. After long conversations with my husband who has a very open mind about everything, and many sincere honest questions he made me, I was left with a big question mark in my head? I believe many members are kind, and mean well. However I feel so much hypocrisy and I don’t really understand the real teachings about so many things, such as birthdays, blood transfusions, why are JW the only "true" organization when my mother did put us in school till age 7 thinking the end was coming in 1975, why should men decide when a person who made an error get expelled? My main issue is I still assist the meetings; my entire family is JW, including my three daughters who go regularly with their father. My oldest who is 13 wants to get baptized this summer.... how do I stop her from making a mistake? How do I free myself of this chain without hurting my parents? What will my children think of me? Someone out there... please help me!  report abuse
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 written by Janet HIne , March 05, 2010 I weep when I read these stories . I am not a WT member nor have I ever been , but I really feel that the Lord wants me to witness to the Witnesses and to stop people entering the organisation . Let me at least say to you that there are people praying for all of you to find peace and to reach your loved ones with the truth . Please do not abandon God , He will not abandon you and I know that He will honour your courage and commitment to truth. Please read the bible for yourselves with the guidance of the Holy Spirit and find Jehovah for yourselves in His Word . " But God is my helper . The lord is my defender " Psalms 54 vs 4 Janet report abuse
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 written by Ross , March 05, 2010 I know how you feel poster above me. My whole family are JW's to, I finally came out from hiding about being apostate yesterday. I guess I did not come out not because of fear, because I really didn't want to go through the strains when they do not listen anyways. How do you tell someone something when they been trained to not listen, or listen with closed ears. I might get through to someone , one day but for the most part I know I will be turned on like a rabid dog EVEN WITH scriptural proof that they are wrong. I told the person if they wanted to continue the conversation ( which was very biased and one sided ) to bring a bible next time. I have a feeling by the way I was confronted it will not happen cause they said they "know" JW teaching is the truth. report abuse
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 written by Ileanne , March 09, 2010 Jane What you doing inside this page speaking abouth YOUR truth?Because in your case is YOUR experience and your emotions and your own desition to stay inside the Organization,every person is different and God leave in our hands our desitions and experiences,ther's no right and no wrong the'rs only desitions and at the end every person had the right to decide was better for his/her life,dead all the people died,is a fact,and no matter the paradise or the heaven,or shangri-la,or whatever,People DIED!,You has your own spiritual dream every person too,and in diferent ways,You want the Truth?READ!!READ the HISTORY OF AMERICAN RELIGION!!,READ ASIAN PHILOSOPHY,READ ANTHOPOLOGY OF RELIGION!,READ SOCIOLOGICAL STUDIES ABOUT RELIGION and forget your spiritual commodity and social club and READ!!And don't speak abouth things that you don't understand because of YOUR COMMODITY. report abuse
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 written by Jeff , March 09, 2010 lasthope and Jane To both of you, you have expressed in your way how you feel. My heart goes out to you lasthope, it isn't easy to know how to deal with family in. That is why there are "faders" out there. I wish I could tell you there is some magical formula to leave, to help your kids avoid your mistakes, but it isn't easy. My best suggestion, even if you fade, is to set an example that your kids can see. Be strong, be positive, speak well of the outside world, and give an honest, unfiltered view of the world to your children. Just because your kids are being exposed to JW's doesn't mean they have to be indoctrinated as such. There is a difference. Jane, while others get upset at you for your bible thumping self righteousness, I am not the least bit bothered by you. I know that you, and people like you, exist and will not go away. As I like to point out, for all your pompousness expressed here, I know that Jesus would never treat lasthope the way you did. You can talk a great "christian" game all you want, but my suggestion to you is, why don't you act like him instead. Jesus wouldn't treat those going through hard times like that. Pharisees would though. Peace! report abuse
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 written by Jane , March 10, 2010 lleane, how do you know I haven't 'READ'?? Aren't you being a little presumptuous in saying that? It is very much BECAUSE I actually HAVE read, that I have realised there can only be one truth.(Yes, I read all those things you are talking about!) report abuse
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 written by St. George of England , March 16, 2010 It really is so difficult to leave in practice, I guess I am yet another 'fader'. I am in my 60's, in the 'truth' all my life and almost everyone I know is a JW. My wife is very zealous and cannot understand my doubts. I only wish the internet had been around 40 years ago!!! report abuse
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 written by Tristana , March 19, 2010 Ironically enough, my mother (a zealous and baptized JW for over 15 years) left the Organization AFTER she'd read their New World Translation about five or six times. I remember she would talk to me about the 'contradictions' she'd stumbled upon; she'd find things in their Bible that immediately contradicted their own teachings! Now that she's reading Raymond Franz's book, she understands the reason behind those contradictions; the leaders basically changed the things they didn't like esp. in the New Testament. And if JW's want to argue against this and try to defend their leaders they are more than welcome to, after all, it's tough admitting that you've been deceived by a body of power-hungry men. Franz, "apostate" as he may be was there for an extraordinarily long time before his conscience wouldn't allow him to remain there; this is why the book is called "Crisis of Conscience," and I bet that the Watchtower leaders HAVE read it, and they should have found it surprising that despite their lying through their teeth, Franz does not bring one accusatory word against them in that book. He simply states what he knows (the facts), and realizes that it's not his job to try and convince anyone of getting out of this religion. In short, he displays more humility than the so-called Christian leaders of the Watchtower Society. As for those self-righteous pompous JW's who come in here displaying more of a Pharisaic conduct than a Christian one, it's only natural. They are products of this Organization after all, and arrogance is part of their heritage. The JW's who do not act like this can be counted with the fingers of both hands, they're very rare but they exist, I know for a fact. Most of them however, sadly fall under the former category. Now if some JW's claim 'persecution' because of websites like these, they should know that no one is out to 'get' them. I was there for a long time, I thought like them, reasoned like them, I was one of them; and because I can remember what it was like, I can say that the members are NOT to blame, and should not be pointed the finger at. Just like the members of the Roman Catholic Church are not to blame for the atrocities committed by their leaders in past times. We're not out to 'get' anyone. My entire family is JW, and it's not easy especially when they accuse you of getting out the Org. just because "you wanted a licence to sin." Well, with my past experiences, I can safely say that I could have easily remained within the Org. (like so many do) and committed all of those leud acts they accuse us of right inside the Org! I didn't need to leave if that's my real reason. My excuse is that I found out the truth about the 'truth' not only within their own Bible, but also within their very foundation and history. Bottom line, it's just another religion among the bajillion of religions out there. They're no different from Mormonism, Judaism, or Catholicism. But I can understand what's keeping so many in there even when they no longer want to be, some of them have a lot to lose if they leave. My mother still hasn't sent in her letter of disassociation, but we've already faced a lot of shunning and ridicule and we can't wait for more! Now that my mom is a Christian who believes in the concept of a triune God, the shit's gonna hit the fan LOL report abuse
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When I first left Jehovah’s Witnesses, I was somewhat amused at the sheer amount of anti Jehovah’s Witness websites out there. While websites like 
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