I spend a lot of time each day logging in to websites or Internet accounts. I am thankful for cookies, little bits of code that remember something about my preferences and personal information. While some people are paranoid of allowing cookies, I think they’re a great idea.
One interesting bit of information I discovered recently: When you do a search in Google, it can “remember” things about you that will help you in your search. But it will only do this if you are logged in, meaning you have identified yourself to the browser. Try opening up your browser and go to google.com and look up at the top right corner and see if you are Signed In or Signed Out. (You may already be signed in if you have a Google email account). Typing in a familiar search word (watchtower) may give you different results if you are logged in than if you are logged out. What you see is not what others see, at least not in the same order. Why? Because you have logged in before, typed the same or similar words, and Google remembers that, showing you what it thinks you want to see first. When I type in the word “watchtower,” Free Minds is the first on the list, above the Watchtower’s own website! But others see it as #4 or #5.
Browsers are designed to remember what you like. Today's software wants you to log in so that it can better find what you want, or perhaps sell you something that it thinks you might want.
In human social encounters, we also make decisions to log in to another person or not. We choose to remember what they like, as well as to remember (log) new information about them. Choosing NOT to log in can at times be a matter of life or death. Parents are keen to learn certain visual, local, and behavioral cues of strangers that may signal danger to their children. We ignore this basic skill at our own peril.
You log in to another person when you utilize stored bits of information in your memory about them, improving your chances of effective communication. These bits of information are often facts about others, but they are also signals that are basically behavioral in nature (i.e., they are lazy, kind, happy, morose, etc.). A good businessman will “remember” his customers and tailor the sale to suit them according to their personal habits and peculiarities. Just remembering a person’s name can make or break a deal before any other words are spoken. Using such information to your advantage is a sign of “intelligence.” A lousy businessman, on the other hand, will use the same line on everyone, like the Jehovah’s Witness who uses the same canned speech at every door.
Animals have an advantage over us humans because recognizing such “primal” (behavioral and emotional) traits is hardwired into their genes. They do not even have to think to use them, it is largely instinctual and has preserved their species for perhaps hundreds of thousands of years. It is an issue of survival to most animals to be able to use such primal information about another creature.
The lion recognizes cries of weakness and emotional distress in its prey and goes for the kill. Two dogs walking with their masters down the street towards each other begin picking up all kinds of clues. The dogs’ sensory and emotional clues indicate whether this is going to be a friendly encounter or a nasty one. A smart dog who wants to get along with other dogs “knows” the right response to any number of sensory and behavioral clues. Some dogs are even very good at cold reading humans!
With people it is more complex. We have the capability to become smart like the cold reading dog, but it must be learned. Unlike the beasts, we are not born with that. The truth is, some humans will have it and some won't. We call the ones that don't have it clueless. They just don't get it - they are not logged in to other people. Sitcoms on television often parody such clueless types, making us laugh. Think Dumb and Dumber.
Cold reading, often practiced by so-called psychics and Gypsies, is one of the most powerful skills you can learn. Cold reading simply means that you are an expert in reading the sensory and behavioral cues that people give off from the very moment you first meet them. You remember. You compare behaviors and signals with what you have already learned about people. A sharp eye and ear can tell you amazing things about others that will surprise them. This is only because you have a large set of profiling skills that help you analyze what you see and hear and feel. You do it so quickly it almost seems supernatural! But in effect you are no different than the animal that does it instinctively. Conversely, you might be called “dumb” when you miss certain cues about other people that may come automatic to others.
Religious beliefs can dull a person’s ability to cold read people by confounding the obvious - by obfuscating a simple truth with a more implausible theory. Pre-judging certain behaviors as “good” or “evil” is the most common example. But in reality, there is no absolute good or evil for all creatures. What is good for the lion is not good for the gazelle. What is good for a democracy is not good for a dictatorship. What is good for the farmer is not good for the hunter. Good or evil is relative to you and the society you live in and how it affects you more than being universal “moral” traits. If animals could talk, many would consider humans as dangerous and deceptive predators that destroy their natural homes.
As a Jehovah's Witness, I learned a lot about people by watching them out in the door-to-door canvassing. Yet I noticed other Jehovah's Witnesses who seemed to be completely clueless. The clueless ones failed to log in to the other person, which I interpreted as a sign of ignorance, or arrogance (I don’t know, or I don’t care).
Those who were interested enough in the other person so that they listened and were thoughtful and kind were the ones who got “bible studies” and made new converts. Many of the others had no real interest in other people at all. They failed to log in to others. They measured their personal success or their relationship with God by quotas and outward gestures of “goodness” or outward religiosity.
If such outward appearances are the trademark of your religious view (i.e., going door-to-door, meetings, public prayer), you will most likely see yourself as doing good works, and you will perceive those who ignore you as either evil or nonbelievers. You moralize things that are not really about “morality” at all. In reality, your “good works” are evidence of your social and moral ignorance. Outsiders see you as stupid or brainwashed because you are lacking in some very basic areas of social intelligence, which failure can be rightfully attributed to your religious beliefs. You are then made the butt of jokes about “brainwashed cult members” and you are persecuted because you are stupid, not because you are doing God's will. Doing truly good things is seldom grounds for persecution in today's world.
To the worldly person you dress up in a suit and tie, you hawk childish 19th-century religious magazines door to door, you're a hypocrite about holidays, birthdays, higher education and medical, social and historical issues. Yet you think that you alone have the truth. You deserve the persecution. Log in and get smart.
Very interesting. I was discussing with someone the other day about why do some religious people feel so inordinately persecuted. This explains that paranoia very nicely.
All the time I was a reasonably active JW I never could see the point of proscribed preaching. The good conversations I had with people about religion and God always arose spontaneously, out of mutual interest and shared enthusiasm. I had "read" the person and knew that they shared my interest in something and we'd have a nice discussion. I'd listen to them, and we'd share ideas. I wouldn't sermonize or give them a canned speech.
The rest always felt like punching a time clock and going to work, quite joyless. That's why I could rarely bring myself to do it.
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