Coming Out of the Watchtower: Why Is It So Difficult?

I feel the need to express how I feel and felt about my life as a gay man. I was brought up from birth as a Jehovah’s Witness. This has played a major part in my life and it has been a real struggle to get past.

I remember when I was really young, feeling strange whenever I would see a man without a shirt on. I used to get really giggly and flustered. Picking up little crush’s for some men I didn’t understand that I was gay. As the years went on I continued to have these feelings and as I got into high school they started getting stronger.

At this stage I started to realise what I was considered by society and the boy that was once bright and open and very talkative ceased to exist and I replaced it with shyness, quietness and sadness. I had also started experimenting with masturbation, to me I think it started off harmless enough, not realising at first that what I was doing wasn’t accepted by Jehovah’s people or Jehovah. Finally realising that I had a problem (A problem considered by Jehovah’s Witnesses but normal by society and for most teenagers) with masturbation I desperately tried to stop. I would feel so guilty for doing the act and for the things I was thinking during. Afterwards I would plunge into massive depression and guilt.

Foreword: The following account is provided in the interest of those who face the dilemma of wanting to leave the organization of Jehovah’s Witnesses known as the Watch Tower Bible & Tract Society. I was involved with the organization for nearly 27 years from December 1968 through July 1995. I was active for a total of 25 years. I served in various congregational positions including Elder. In my active evangelizing for the Watch Tower Society I helped a total of 15 people become Jehovah’s Witnesses including my four children.

From the April 15, 2010 Watchtower article:

Holy Spirit’s Role in the Outworking of Jehovah’s Purpose

13 Third, holy spirit is at work in bringing Bible truths to light. (Prov. 4:18) This magazine has long been used by “the faithful and discreet slave” as the primary channel for dispensing increased light. (Matt. 24:45) For example, consider our understanding of those who make up “this generation” mentioned by Jesus. (Read Matthew 24:32- 34.) To what generation did Jesus refer? The article “Christ’s Presence—What Does It Mean to You?” explained that Jesus was referring, not to the wicked, but to his disciples, who were soon to be anointed with holy spirit. Jesus’ anointed followers, both in the first century and in our day, would be the ones who would not only see the sign but also discern its meaning—that Jesus “is near at the doors.”

14 What does this explanation mean to us? Although we cannot measure the exact length of “this generation,” we do well to keep in mind several things about the word “generation”: It usually refers to people of varying ages whose lives overlap during a particular time period; it is not excessively long; and it has an end. (Ex. 1:6) How, then, are we to understand Jesus’ words about “this generation”? He evidently meant that the lives of the anointed who were on hand when the sign began to become evident in 1914 would overlap with the lives of other anointed ones who would see the start of the great tribulation. That generation had a beginning, and it surely will have an end. The fulfillment of the various features of the sign clearly indicate that the tribulation must be near. By maintaining your sense of urgency and keeping on the watch, you show that you are keeping up with advancing light and following the leadings of holy spirit.—Mark 13:37.

(italics ours)

Well, this change should buy out another 60 years or so before Armageddon may come! Such brilliant leaders of the Watchtower. See chart with the history of the changes by clicking READ MORE

I am Frank Kavelin.  My wife Barbara and I were recently disfellowshipped for apostasy.  Long before we became inactive, I was mentioned in one topic and was the subject of another topic on the Discussion Board JWN.  I was the elder who was quoted in the Los Angeles Times defending an article that appeared in the 1987 Watchtower dealing with doctor/patient privacy issues. http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/watchtower/beliefs/107603/1/A-Time-to-Speak-When-with-scans.  I am also the brother who was seriously injured in the Santa Monica Farmers Market tragedy of 2002.